The Eric & Melissa Show

Wow, what a night. It wasn’t as bad as I expected, although it does still amaze me that someone can completely change the subject from anything in the world back to herself in a matter of milliseconds. I feel bad for her because she’s obviously so insecure that she has to seek validation for pretty much everything she does.
It started out normal: Melissa talking incessantly about her night last night with Eric. I heard every detail of every single story at least twice. No joke. I know entirely too many details about someone’s sex life!! My close girlfriends talk about their sex lives and it’s completely different. This is just too detailed for my liking. It feels weird knowing so much about someone’s intimate sexual encounters. I can’t imagine sharing DETAILS of my lovemaking with anyone. Especially the first time I’ve ever even hung out with the person outside of work.
The highlight of the night was when Eric finally called at 10:30. I got the run-down on the conversation 3 times, which was terribly handy in helping out my pothead memory. It went a lil somethin like this:
Melissa: Hello?
Eric: What’s up
Melissa: Not much
Eric: What are you doing?
M: Having dinner with L.
E: Who is that?
M: From work
E: huh? Does she know about us?
M: No.
E: Isn’t that weird?
M: No, not really
E: Well have you told her anything?
M: Uh-uh
E: Are you guys going out?
M: No, I don’t think so.
E: what is she gonna think about me calling you?
M: Won’t be a problem
E: She doesn’t know?
M: uh-uh. I’ll call you later.
Ooh la la. She told me that she’s going to tell him that I don’t know anything about what’s going on with them, and that I just wanted to talk about my divorce and work and stuff. He had to be completely beside himself. The funny thing is since neither of us are going to tell him that I know he will think he is the ultimate pimp. This is actually kinda fun…
Except for the fact that I still feel bad for Melissa. I almost wanted to tell her a few times. I’ve told her in no uncertain terms that I think he’s a player and that she needs to use her head. She made a comment tonight that let me know that she understands my position on things. It’s so weird to be looking at a relationship from this point of view. I hear the excuses she makes for him. I see the obvious signs she ignores. But then I realize that I’d probably be falling for the same damn thing had I taken him up on his offer last summer. Maybe I can call this a lesson and use that to justify not telling her. Oh no no no. That’s bad.
She called me 15 minutes after we left the restaurant and headed home. Apparently she called Eric twice and he hasn’t answered. Twice in 15 minutes? Wow.