Monthly Archives: July 2005

it’s all in my head

Posted on July 29, 2005 by

I didn’t realize how much anxiety I had in my life until Alex brought it to my attention last week.  I thought about it all week, and paid attention to the times I felt anxious.  And there were so many … Continue reading →

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looking for mr. wright…

Posted on July 25, 2005 by

I was perusing the personal ads today (shut up. like you wouldn’t do it if you were single. hmmph.) when I came across some truly remarkable ads. I can’t believe my luck. There couldn’t possibly be a better time to … Continue reading →

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changes

Posted on July 23, 2005 by

i’m nervous about losing the anonymity, but for some reason i think it’s a step i need to take…or maybe just a step i want to take. this is my attempt at freedom…at freeing myself from the hiding i’ve perfected…i … Continue reading →

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filling the void

Posted on July 20, 2005 by

I rushed upstairs as soon as I got the call. He’d be here in 20 minutes. And to make it even better I’d lied and said that I was about to run out to try to deter him from coming. … Continue reading →

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i want you, you bastard

Posted on July 18, 2005 by

It’s raining and the power is out. I’m sitting here watching it fall out the sliding glass doors I wish were French. I can see in the distance, over the roofs of those behind me, that it’ll be raining pretty … Continue reading →

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duh

Posted on July 17, 2005 by

The jam session is comin to an end. This is always how I feel on Sunday night. Like the world is coming back into focus and I have to be productive tomorrow. There’s only one joint left of the weekend … Continue reading →

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mine

Posted on July 16, 2005 by

All day I work to get out of here. I watch the clock, count the minutes, and bolt as soon as i’ve given them the time they need from me. Every night when I go to bed I look in … Continue reading →

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to talk to him or not to talk to him

Posted on July 14, 2005 by

it’s the only real question, i suppose. I think I’ve mentioned that I’ve been talking to M again. It’s like my third addiction now, it seems. Wow, I wonder if I can find an MA meeting…surprised Alex hasn’t suggested it … Continue reading →

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M, I miss you.

Posted on July 14, 2005 by

M, I miss you.

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what’s missing

Posted on July 12, 2005 by

Today I took a moment to reflect on the fact that I really don’t ever get hit on. All of this was inspired by part of a lunch conversation, and it’s really quite astounding. Now, I may not be the … Continue reading →

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perception

Posted on July 9, 2005 by

Thinking Thinking I think too damn much Worrying and analyzing Never really just being I miss you so much And dream of having you back But reality reminds me That I wasn’t all that happy We failed to connect Living … Continue reading →

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a baby?

Posted on July 8, 2005 by

I don’t really like going out on Fridays. So when David called tonight I was all ready to veg out for the night, smoke a little, and cook a nice dinner…maybe read a little Good in Bed, which I’m enjoying, … Continue reading →

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i feel so disconnected

Posted on July 6, 2005 by

The 4th of july trip was fabulous. The weather in Michigan was perfect, the accountant debutante (AD) and Kip were greats hosts all weekend, I got to spend some quality time with my parents and niece…all in all it was … Continue reading →

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oh yeah

Posted on July 6, 2005 by

From Daddy, Papa and Me: If, as you live your life, you find yourself mentally composing blog entries about it, post this exact same sentence in your weblog.

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the asshole disclaimer

Posted on July 5, 2005 by

Lately I’ve been complaining a lot, and I never intended to use my blog to whine about shit that annoys me about the world. However, I do use my blog as my time for expression and occasionally (or maybe a … Continue reading →

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i don’t get it

Posted on July 4, 2005 by

It annoys me when people tell me that I’ll eventually find someone who will love me and understand me, and that M just wasn’t the right one. I know these are meant to be encouraging words, but they annoy the … Continue reading →

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