I’m so turned off by BestSexEver’s way of being so passive. It’s a shame that I am now turned off by the one person I had some incredible sex with, who is available, who will drop anything to see me…as long as it doesn’t have to be his idea. He’s been around consistently since February, which is odd for me since I generally cut shit off with a quickness when I lose interest. But I guess I didn’t really lose interest in BestSexEver until the last time we had sex.
The whole situation is a little odd to me. We talk all the time, have great conversations, talk shit to each other, and have a sexual chemistry that blows all but My Southern Boy out of the water. He’s tall and tattooed and has these arms I could die for. And dear god can this man rock my world. We have some amazing sex, and our sex drives are similarly high so it would’ve worked well….if….IF that dumbass could just initiate it. He’ll respond to every text I send him, answer if I call, agree to see me any time I want, as I’ve said. He will come here or I can go there. He will agree. He always agrees. There has never been any bullshit, never been any drama. But he will not initiate. He’ll send me a text telling me he’s in my part of town, looking for me to initiate it, but that’s as far as he’ll go. And I won’t play those silly little games. If you can’t tell me you want it – shit, take it!!! – then I don’t need to be wasting my time. Part of what turns me on is an aggressive, dominant man. Not some pansy who only bucks up once he’s naked.
Which is another odd thing about BestSexEver. When we’re having sex he’s very aggressive and dominant, which contributes to it being the best sex ever. So why can’t that carry over? Gross. It’s such a turn-off to me.
I obviously have initiation issues. Duh. I have no problem initiating myself – hell, we never would have had sex if I hadn’t. But every time…ain’t happenin, BestSexEver. Ain’t happenin.
He’s told me multiple times that I’m hard, that he can’t imagine me getting emotional about something or getting mad, that nothing seems to ever bother me. And I love that he has this impression because it’s truly because I don’t care with him. I’m not interested enough to get nervous about the situation, and he knows more about me than anyone I’ve dated since The Heartbreaker. But at the same time he knows so little of me. He knows I can rock his world the way he can mine, but that’s about it. As much as we talk and as little as we know about each other – weird.
I sent a message to Carter telling him…
“so BestSexEver wants to have sex tonight. haven’t said yes, haven’t said no. the game for Thursday will be to see how hard he works to make it happen. i have $10 on him giving up by noon.”
Boring. Stupid. Predictable. Bleh. No, thanks. No sex for you!
Where is the one who was going to add a little excitement? The one who I could have some crazy sexual chemistry with and coffee on the patio with our smokes Sunday morning? The one who would laugh at my jokes and make me laugh at his and kiss me in the rain? Where is the one who will make me smile and blush, like only The Heartbreaker has? Where is the one I will want to stay around longer? The one I can’t keep my hands off? Where is the good one?
