Monthly Archives: January 2009

numb

I drank a big glass of wine from one of the wine glasses Will gave me for my birthday before talking to Cutie McBarista, and another while talking to him. I smoked 2 cigarettes during our phone conversation. And after … Continue reading

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signs on the highway

Apparently tow trucks are the new way to deliver the word.

Posted in photos

signs on the highway

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wisdom

from the first page of the new book I bought tonight: “There comes a time of elimination.  The Earth sheds each year. The trees and flowers let go of their identity. As the old identity dies, a new identity is … Continue reading

Posted in books, friends, reflection, sbux, wisdom

wisdom

from the first page of the new book I bought tonight: “There comes a time of elimination.  The Earth sheds each year. The trees and flowers let go of their identity. As the old identity dies, a new identity is … Continue reading

Posted in barista, books, breaking up, friends, life, life lessons | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

my friend.

trust that should have never existed crashing down around me as I try to compose myself like a death, but not dead I lost someone I thought to be my friend. and yeah, it’s too late to apologize when betrayal … Continue reading

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and my heart has been broken again

This time, however, it wasn’t by a boy.  I wish it had been a boy as I sit here trying to compose my thoughts and figure out how I feel.  I’ve gone through a huge range of emotions in the … Continue reading

Posted in barista, breaking up, drinking, ex-bf, ex-boyfriend, ex-boyfriends, friends, heartbreak, life, life lessons, panic attack, relationships, sbux, stress | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

that’s not my daBucks

Me: Hi, I’d like a grande nonfat chai tea misto (for those who don’t know this is tea bags in hot water with steamed milk, not chai concentrate with steamed milk), pleaseCute Barista Working at Register (CBWR): a grande chai?Me: … Continue reading

Posted in sbux

that’s not MyBux

Me: Hi, I’d like a grande nonfat chai tea misto (for those who don’t know this is tea bags in hot water with steamed milk, not chai concentrate with steamed milk), please Cute Barista Working at Register (CBWR): a grande … Continue reading

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I hate my life

Or so it seems, anyway. Tonight it became completely clear to me that what I need is a job. Before it was 99.9% about the money; now it is more about the stability, structure and something worthwhile to fill my … Continue reading

Posted in reflection

i hate my life

Or so it seems, anyway. Tonight it became completely clear to me that what I need is a job. Before it was 99.9% about the money; now it is more about the stability, structure and something worthwhile to fill my … Continue reading

Posted in anti-depressant, anxiety, barista, career, depression, ex-husband, friends, job search, legal drugs, life, love, panic attack, relationships, sbux, stress, the gym, unemployment | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

the gut doesn’t fail me

After a particularly grueling weekend filled with panic attacks left and right I was ready for today – brunch with my dear friend Becky. I needed her counseling on the things I’ve been going through, and knew she’d be able … Continue reading

Posted in reflection

my gut doesn’t fail me

After a particularly grueling weekend filled with panic attacks left and right I was ready for today – brunch with my dear friend Becky. I needed her counseling on the things I’ve been going through, and knew she’d be able … Continue reading

Posted in barista, dating, ex-husband, freaking out, friends, he's not that into you, life, life lessons, panic attack, random commentary, the ex, The Ruiner | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

you just let a high guy throw away your memory box

Ex-Husband invited me over today with the main purpose of helping him with his taxes. I’ve always loved taxes – not paying them, but everything else to do with them. Mostly this is because there is always something new and … Continue reading

Posted in heartbreak, life, memories, relationships

you just let a high guy throw away your memory box

Bart invited me over today with the main purpose of helping him with his taxes. I’ve always loved taxes – not paying them, but everything else to do with them. Mostly this is because there is always something new and … Continue reading

Posted in analysis, barista, boyfriend, breaking up, ex-bf, ex-boyfriend, ex-boyfriends, ex-husband, freaking out, gifts, heartbreak, life, life lessons, love, panic attack, relationships, stress, the ex, The Ruiner | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

why is this happening to me

Ok, so I used to be a daily pot smoker. For like the past 4 years with only short breaks here and there. And by “used to be” I mean up until about 3 weeks ago when I had my … Continue reading

Posted in barista

why is this happening to me

Ok, so I used to be a daily pot smoker. For like the past 4 years with only short breaks here and there. And by “used to be” I mean up until about 3 weeks ago when I had my … Continue reading

Posted in analysis, barista, boyfriend, breaking up, commentary, dating, drinking, ex-bf, financial, freaking out, friends, life, life lessons, panic attack, random commentary, relationships, stress, the ex, The Ruiner, unemployment | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

finito

The Elton chapter has finally come to a close, and I couldn’t be more relieved. I’d barely spoken to him this week, but the last time we’d talked was when he’d asked me to hang out and I told him … Continue reading

Posted in reflection

finito

The 21 chapter has finally come to a close, and I couldn’t be more relieved. I’d barely spoken to him this week, but the last time we’d talked was when he’d asked me to hang out and I told him … Continue reading

Posted in analysis, barista, boyfriend, breaking up, commentary, crushes, dating, ex-bf, ex-boyfriend, ex-boyfriends, friends, life, life lessons, love, random commentary, relationships, sex | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

what in the world

After The Heartbreaker and I first broke up 2 years ago I met a great guy, Vince. We hit it off immediately, and started dating pretty much immediately. This was about one week after The Heartbreaker broke my heart, and … Continue reading

Posted in reflection