wow

I don’t know that there are words anywhere in this world that can do justice for the night I just had.

Incredible.

Amazing.

Perfect.

Delightful.

Happy.

Family.

Love.

Peace.

Food.

Perfect.

Bliss.

Conversation.

I have never felt like this before. I can say that with confidence now. This was the most wonderful night I’ve had in so, so long. I want to write the story. I want to remember it forever and ever. Because tonight was truly that perfect. And for once in my life I’m definitely not exaggerating.

I started cooking as soon as I got there and put The AA to work peeling potatoes. It was hard to get him to finish his task, though, because he kept watching me, commenting on how I was totally in my element, telling me he’s never seen someone enjoying something so much.

So it was me, The AA, his mom, sister, his roommate and his sister’s best friend came over a little later. The roommate and I talked a lot. She’s pregnant and in a not so good situation with her ex-bf and she shot questions at me as I moved around the kitchen. The inevitable question – “Are you religious?”

When she asked this I looked immediately at The AA. “I’ve asked you that before, too.”

“Yes, twice. You told her to ask me this, didn’t you?”

He laughed. “Twice? You remember?”

“Yes, of course! I’ve conveniently avoided it!” The roommate stared at me, waiting for my answer, so I finally gave it to her, and I could see him nodding with approval out of the corner of my eye as I explained my position.

When dinner was ready he helped me make everyone’s plate and they raved. “I feel like I’m in a restaurant!” and then his mom “Oh wow! I should have been in the kitchen watching how you did this!”. The AA loved it. His sister loved it, his mom, the roommate and even the sister’s best friend.

“You aren’t eating enough!” The AA told me and the roommate agreed.

“Ok, well let me tell you why,” I said. And then I proceeded to tell them about the surgery. I kinda wanted to come out about it to him, at least, but opening up to a group….wow. Powerful shit. And the support was overwhelming. Now I was understood. There were no secrets. And he still thought I was the cat’s pajamas.

After dinner The AA and I sat with his roommate as I counseled her on relating with the ex and father of her soon-to-be-baby. The way The AA looked at me while I talked was overwhelming and he commented multiple times that he couldn’t believe I had so much wisdom for her. Really I was just trying to tell her to value herself and the way he responded was so telling of his character.

But I really wanted to have some time with his mom and sister, so I made my way over to the dining room table and sat down with them to talk more. We chatted easily and his mom stressed numerous times that she would love for me to visit Kenya. The warmth in that room was incredible. I was in absolute heaven.

I hadn’t spoken to his sister’s best, but when she came back to the table The Roommate asked her where she was from. When she said Brazil I got excited and started speaking Portuguese to her, which totally caught her off guard. Next thing I know we’re speaking her native language, one I haven’t practiced in 15 years, and she’s shrieking because she’s so excited that I don’t have an accent. And when I say shrieking, I mean shrieking. Yelling out loud because she was so excited. I was embarrassed, blushing. And that’s when the Barista love fest began. How could I not love that!?

“She has the sweetest smile!” The AA’s sister said about me like I wasn’t there.

“I know! The warmth just radiates!” His mom agreed.

“I don’t usually like women, but I love this girl,” The Roommate said.

I was beaming, blushing, trying to hide my smile. They all thought it was cute and said so. And The AA just sat there smiling like a kid at xmas. It was pure bliss. Every second of it.

We sat at the table chatting and they tried to convince me to have another glass of wine, to stay the night, to make it a slumber party. It was all very tempting, but I had pups to get home to and The AA has to work tomorrow, so I tried to make my exit. I started trying to leave around 11 and it was 12:16 before he and I finally made it out the door.

Before I left his mom gave me the biggest hug, told me how much she appreciated me being there and loved the time, then handed me a bag with a Kenyan scarf/sash in it. “This is something we would wear around our waist. I wish an abundance of great things for you, and know God will provide for you to make it possible to come visit Kenya.”

No joke, I teared up at this moment. It was too much. The overwhelming love and purity and beauty. It was a lot. “Don’t look!” I told The AA and kicked him softly. All night I’d been making little touchy gestures, which is unlike the normal me with him. Touching his arm, his back, his feet with mine…whenever I could I made physical contact. Genuinely. Lovingly. And it was all beautiful.

When he walked me out we stood at my car for 25 minutes as he debated in his head how to kiss me. I could see it in his eyes. We were close. He was telling me over and over how great the night was, how much he appreciated me, how wonderful a person he thinks I am. I beamed. I was shy. Every time he looked at me long enough to start the kiss I looked away.

He hugged me twice, told me over and over and over how excited he is about tomorrow. He told me I need to come spend the weekend with him, bring the pups. He lingered, looked intently at me, didn’t want the night to end as much as I didn’t.

“You are our family,” his mom said to me and The Roommate. “I thank you both for being here.”

“You need to come here more,” his sister told me. “And I want to spend a weekend with you just watching you cook.”

“You got his sister,” The Roommate said. “That’s the most important, you know.”

“We all see you in different ways,” his sister said. “You are a counselor to The Roommate, a sister to me, something else to The AA.” How could I not cheese. How could I not be madly in love with him and his family, the environment, the beauty, simplicity and purity of it all.

I know he wanted to kiss me tonight and didn’t know how to make that move. He didn’t want to let me go. I could tell. It was obvious as he lingered by my jeep with me as I kept telling him he had to go to bed. The passion was overwhelming. The whole night was somewhat overwhelming because it was more of a success than I ever could have dreamed. I was more comfortable than I ever could have imagined.

“I’m so excited about tomorrow night,” The AA said to me at least 5 times. “I can’t wait. We’re going to have such a good time!”

“I’m excited, too,” I said, inserting cheesy smile and downward glances to avoid that gaze that told me he wanted to kiss me and couldn’t figure out how. “Now you need to get some rest! You have to work in the morning!”. I wanted him to kiss me. I wanted to kiss him. I loved the way our hands touched after he hugged me again. There was nothing on Earth. Just me and him.

And yet I was still to shy to look at him long enough to let it happen. I looked at the ground a lot as he stalled, lingered close to me, leaned up against the jeep. My god! He looked so cute! Sooo perfectly wonderful. I didn’t know how I could possibly pretend like I was oh-so-cool with everything when I was dying to just be close to him, to feel his warmth, to kiss him….finally.

“Ok,” I told him. “Go sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow.” And while I wanted tonight to last forever it was obvious he was still unsure on how to proceed when 25 minutes later we were still standing there, shifting back and forth between the left and right foot, loving every second of each other.

What could possibly be more beautiful. A night of good food, family, love…..and dare I say…..I’m falling.