and he kissed me

And now it’s time for a real post….because nothing deserves it more than last night.

The day was one of the most stressful I’d ever had. I was freaking out, had one hundred million things to do to get ready. My head was pounding, my anxiety level was running crazy. I didn’t think I’d ever be able to get everything done and had to stop and take some deep breaths multiple times throughout the morning. But once I’d delivered the first cupcake order to the publishing company, found the dress and got back home before 1pm I knew I was good. So I set out to bake the WW cupcakes – Lemon Bliss, Caramel Apple and Cookies n Cream.

The AA arrived and after getting his few minutes with the pups we left. He looked so great and so did I in my new grey dress and black knee-high boots. We met College Roomie and her husband at the theatre and everyone helped me set up the cupcakes. I was no longer nervous. I was beaming, in fact.

As people started to arrive I alternated between trying to overhear their comments about the cupcakes and standing by my man, who seemed to be enjoying himself. Pretty much any time I heard someone talking about the cupcakes I used the opportunity to talk to them about it. I had some great conversations with people who expressed interest in ordering. It was a huge success!

The AA told me over dinner later that he was so impressed by the way I talked to people and promoted myself and the business. It was funny to me because I’m generally pretty shy and definitely not a salesperson. But the interesting part to me is that over the past 6-7 years I’ve had so many people tell me I should be in sales, but I always maintained that the only way I could do it is if I truly believed in the product. Seems I’ve found my element…and where I’m considering taking this next is….well….going to be pretty shocking to a lot of people. But we’ll talk about that later.

After Thursday night’s huge success I had a completely different level of comfort with The AA. Before I think it was obvious I liked him, but I wasn’t very affectionate or open about it. Last night was completely different. I was touchy feely, in an appropriate way, and he responded. It was wonderful. The soft touches, the silent stares, the closeness. And I’d secured a couch for us for the show, which created even more closeness. He sat with his arm around me pretty much the entire time.

The show was great! One of the best I’d ever been to. We all laughed so hard and if you know me you know I love nothing more than laughing…..except maybe sex. My bad. But yeah, it was great. And I’m so glad College Roomie and her husband came. I know I’ve said this before, but they are truly great people, as all of us midwesterners are!!, and I was thrilled that they ventured into the city to enjoy the night.

Afterwards, The AA and I went to The Vortex for dinner across the street from my old Starbucks. It was a little weird being back in that ‘hood, in a place I’d spent so many nights when my life was so completely different. But I was now sharing my night and my time with the most amazing man I’ve ever met in my life. And I saw nothing but him. Nothing. I love being with him. I love the way I feel when we’re together.

And while we were at the theatre….yes, I’ll probably be going back and forth a lot…I’d made a comment to him that he liked me as we posed for a picture. “I don’t like you,” he said,” I l…” And yes, that’s an L….he caught himself and I’m 99% sure he felt me tense up as he stuttered through stopping himself and saying something to cover up what he’d almost said. Good try, AA, but I know what was about to come out of your mouth at that moment and yes, I get that it was more expression than a declaration of love. But it was still awesome!

Ok, so back to dinner….it was really just a love-fest as we made googly eyes at each other across the table, chatted easily and he asked me about my writing. I told him that I’d recently re-read what I’d written after first meeting him and he wanted to know more. I told him that I’d written that I had a little crush on him.

“I remember the second time I saw you. You remembered my name and I was surprised,” he said.

“You remember that?”

“Yeah, I even remember what you were wearing.”

I cheesed like hardcore. “Really? What was I wearing?” And he told me. And I cheesed more. How cute is our story!!

We left after finishing dinner and headed back to my place. We sat in the car for a few minutes after arriving before I asked him to come up, gave him a drink and we sat on my couch in front of the TV. But the TV was just background noise as we talked.

“So why haven’t you kissed me yet?” I asked him as we sat there and he laughed.

“Honestly, at first I just wanted to get to know you better and not lead you on. I wanted to know you first. And then it was because I thought I was getting a cold. But I wanted to!”

“You did? Good.” We smiled at each other and I leaned back against him.

And then….he kissed me. And I kissed him back. And we just kept kissing, like we’d waited forever for it. Oh yeah, we did!!! It was unquestionably the best kissing ever. And it didn’t stop. I couldn’t stop kissing him. His hands were on my face, my neck, my back, in my hair. It wasn’t urgent, it was soft and sweet and passionate. It was perfect.

When his hands touched my chest I was excited, but it didn’t last long and while I could have taken him right then and there I didn’t feel that it needed to be rushed to be taken to that level. “You should stay,” I told him.

“I want to. I really do. But I have so much to do tomorrow.” He kissed me again and my lips were begging him to stay without using words. “I have to go. It’s almost 4 am!”

“You should stay,” I said again, because I could tell he wanted to and just seemed hesitant. I kissed him again.

“How about I tuck you in now?”

“Ok, I guess that will be fine.” We went into my bedroom for the first time after putting Mox in her cage.

“Wow, your bed is huge!”

“I knooow. I love this bed.”

“Which side is yours?”

“Generally I sleep diagonally across it, but if I have to pick a side it’s probably the right.” He pulled the sheet and blankets back and I got under them halfway while he sat on the edge of the bed. “Kiss me again,” I told him and he obliged.

I wanted him to stay not because I wanted us to have sex, but because I wanted to be close to him, to feel him next to me longer. I didn’t want the most perfect night ever to end. I wanted to keep kissing him. I wanted to feel his body next to mine. And I felt how badly he wanted it to as our bodies were pressed up against each other.

“Thank you for a wonderful night, Barista. I had a great time.”

“Me too. Thank you!”

“Goodnight, Barista. Next time I’ll stay.”

And he left, locked the door with the key I gave him and I waited till he was gone to get up, take out my contacts, smoke the first cigarette of the night.

I tried to stay awake to make sure he got home ok, but ended up sending him a text telling him how perfect the night was and how I wished he’d stay.

And the response I saw when I woke up this morning made me giddy all over again:

Yeah I will definitely stay next time! U are wonderful!!!! The evening was great! I think its been one of my best nights ever! I loved the show and also meeting ur friends. That was really cool. yeah the evening was totally perfect! Thank You!! Gnite…sleep tight!!

How could I not love him?

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