I woke up to a mascara-and-tear-stained pillowcase and eyes so puffy they looked like I hadn’t slept in weeks. My head hurt a little, but nothing like it should have given the circumstances. I got up, chugged 16 ounces of water, then put on some jeans and my glasses and loaded the pups into the car. Silly me – I’d forgotten to get coffee yesterday, so I had to make a Starbucks run before the headache really kicked in. And damn Starbucks for closing the THREEEEE locations within ½ mile of my apartment and making me drive 3 miles.
Last night’s wasn’t an unplanned breakdown. I knew I needed it when I asked Mr. D to come over and let me cry on his shoulder. It was hard for me to be that vulnerable, but I needed my friend. I needed to talk about all this, and not in a where-are-we-going kinda way, but in an I need my friend to listen and tell me it’s all going to be ok kinda way. He delivered. And I sobbed. Like a little girl. I didn’t care. He didn’t make me feel stupid. He didn’t laugh or tell me to buck up or get uncomfortable. He let me soak his shoulder with my tears, then brought me tissue.
And that’s just another reason I love my friend.
I’m confused. You have two men who want to love you and you’re falling apart. Dude come on.
You know that you and Mr. D aren’t destined for “forever.” You finding someone else and moving on is probably better for your spirit than him moving on first. That would probably really devistate you. The fact that he knows you’ve seen someone else and hasn’t tried to lock you down is all the proof you need. It’s clear he’ll still be there for you.
Then in addition, you have Old Dude who wants nothing more than to spoil you.
Get it together girl! Realize what great thing could be happening for you. You should be enjoying every moment of this.
be nice on my blog!
Nothing wrong with a good cry…..it cleanses the soul. At least that’s how I look at it.
I ALWAYS feel better after a good cry. The one where it takes a couple hours for the puffiness to go away and you don’t dare look in the mirror. You will be ok Barista!!!
I’m sorry if you thought I was being mean. I just don’t want you to block your blessing. I want you to see what a good thing you’ve got going.
It’s less that I think you were being mean and more that I have no idea who you are, there’s no identifying information and I’m not used to random people I can’t place telling me to buck up. Yeah, it’s a public blog, it just doesn’t happen here often. And I can be a sensitive sort.
I think the point of the breakdown was acknowledging that I can’t continue on with Mr. D forever. It was a release of the emotions that have been kicking my ass. I needed that. The heart and the mind don’t always agree, so while I know intellectually what is up with me and Mr. D, I also know how much love I feel when I’m with him and that’s hard to give up…
And now that I’ve figured out who you are I’m a-ok with you telling me to get it together!
:lol: That really shouldn’t matter who the messenger is. But glad you approve. ;)
This whole thing is confusing to me. What do your real-life friends think about Mr. D as a person, and not just as boyfriend material?
Funny my real-life friends read this and none of them commented.