For the first time in 22 years of working I broke my own number one rule today: No crying at work.
Now, before you get all excited – I did not sob or let anyone see (aside from one person who was directly involved). I immediately walked to the bathroom, composed myself and wiped those few tears from my eyes.
Something I said this morning offended someone. Big time. I still don’t see how what I said was taken the way it was and I don’t think I ever will, but I’m a true believer that feelings are valid whether I agree with them or not. And if she was offended by what I said then it was inappropriate. Know your audience, I suppose.
My whole body was tense when I realized I’d offended her. I felt tight and tried to calm down, let it cool off before approaching her to apologize. She accepted my apology – somewhat – but it was apparent that she wasn’t buying it. I didn’t say “I’m sorry if what I said offended you” as I personally believe a statement like that shifts the blame of me saying what I’m saying to her feeling what she felt. I don’t think that’s fair. I apologized outright, told her I didn’t understand what was offensive and asked her to explain it to me. She didn’t want to, but she did. And while I still don’t think it was offensive – perhaps because I know myself and know I’d never come from that place – I apologized again and thanked her for explaining to me.
And as I was apologizing tears welled up in my eyes. She told me to pull it together and I walked to the bathroom and did just that. Nobody saw, thankfully. And while the tears are dry and I don’t look all weepy faced, I still feel the sick, sinking feeling. I know I can’t control someone else’s reactions and even though I do believe she blew it way out of proportion I’m more just sorry that something I said could hurt someone’s feelings to that point. I’m a sensitive sort.
Now I want a cookie. Emotion-numbing eating? I’d say.
I cried at work. Once. In front of my boss. During annual review. FAIL. I blame the evil Lexapro.
yea crying at work sucks ass. I’ve done it more than once. Sometimes for good reason, sometimes because I’m feeling blue and my eyes well up with tears( i cant stand feeling like that and not knowing why). But I hate fake concern so I try not to let people see me upset.
fake concern = nosiness and I’m not a fan. But you know plenty of people cry for attention and I’m the opposite – I want to hold everything in, not share with people in the office. I save that for the blog.
exactly. nosey as hell and im good on that. i try not to let my coworkers into my personal life. I don’t think it’s their business.
My name is Nerd Girl and I’m a crier. I can’t help it. I cry when I’m happy. I cry when I’m sad. I cry when I’m mad. And apparently I’m channeling Dr. Seuss…all that to say that I try very hard not to cry at work but if I said I never had? I’d be lying.
i read your blog and would have never guessed you were a crier! not in the least!
Me either! I thought she’d be the one kicking asses at the bike rack!
:)
Really? I mean, it takes a bit for me to get there, but once I’m really truly emotional? I’m crying. And it is not pretty. At all :)
I never would’ve guessed. I am exactly the same way. I cry when I’m happy, when I’m sad, frustrated, laughing, watching a good movie….all a dat.
Awwh sweety, me being one of the lucky people to know you, I truly believe that you were just being your nice, considerate and sweet self. I am not sure what you said, but judging from her reaction, she seems to be of the self-centered sort, and I am willing to bet every dollar I ever made, that if the shoe was on the other foot, she wouldn’t have even blinked twice before making some stupid-ass remark about you being super sensitive and to fucking get over it. The older I get, the more I realize that I don’t like people at all.
You know what – you’re exactly right.
I’m awesome.I mean – she would have told me to fucking get over it. And I’m good.I cried at work watching Michael Jackson’s funeral. I can’t remember if I blogged about it but I was interrupted during the most pivotal moment (when Paris spoke) by two dimwits. One of whom used to be my boss. If I haven’t posted about that, I should. It’s actually pretty funny thinking back on it.