Yesterday evening before leaving work I got a random text message from a guy I’d met some time ago on an online dating site. I don’t remember exactly when, as it’s been quite some time since I’ve had an active profile on any site, but he still had my number. We’d never met, which is odd for me. I’m not one to over-communicate before meeting; I’m a get-it-done kinda girl. So while I didn’t really remember this dude I knew there had to be a reason we’d never met.
After a little back and forth small talk he asked me what I had on the agenda for the night. Well, it’s a Monday night and I was coming off a weekend in which I’d worked 12 hours both Saturday and Sunday (cupcakes, of course) following a stressful week at the office…so to not have anything exciting planned for a Monday night didn’t seem odd to me. Besides, don’t you know what kind of good tv is on Monday night?! Jeez!
Dude responded back telling me “that’s no fun” and asked me if I had cats!
Now, I’ll be the first to admit my life isn’t super glamorous or even a tiny bit sparkly, but since when does staying home on a Monday night make you the cat lady!
When I realized that all of my potential responses to this text were rather defensive and severely sarcastic I decided the best course of action would be to just ignore the text and go back to eating my popcorn and watching The Bachelorette. And that’s exactly what I did.
And while I didn’t delete the dude’s number, I do know that I’m not interested and won’t be responding in the future. A big pet peeve of mine is a man who either projects or accuses a woman of things before taking the time to get to know her. Things like “Oh, I see you’ve been hurt before” (yeah, who hasn’t?) or “Wow, what did the last guy do to you?!” irk me beyond belief. These are statements meant to put someone on the defensive, break them down and manipulate and I would rather deal with an adult who doesn’t feel the need to do that.
Or maybe I’ll just get some cats.
I think ppl just don’t realize how that cannot tell tone via text or email. And even then, how did he think basically calling you a cat lady hoarder chick was going to make you want to keep talking to him??? #dumbass
I don’t know if it’s because I come across as hard or strong or what, but I get men trying to push me into a defensive position kinda a lot. Instead it just makes me check out.
Smh *smacks you* dude was clearly joking about the cats in effort to bate you into further conversation and possibly get you to come have a drink with him. Popcorn and the bachlorette are not that interesting(well popcorn is!).
One thing tho after I’ve smacked you, you must have found something off putting about this dude to begin with or you would have already met him. Maybe its his humor that was previously off putting.
I’m going to have to disrespectully disagree with you, Chocey. When he asked what I had planned and I said I didn’t have plans that was his “in” to ask me to meet for a drink. The cat message came 2 texts after that – meaning he had no intention of trying to meet up. I never actually said I was staying in to watch the bachelorette, just that I didn’t have anything on the agenda. Anyway…NEXT!
Oh, and I guess I kinda lied in the post since I was actually watching BBW and Single Ladies, not Bachelorette.
AH! I always say “NEXT”! When you aren’t feeling him in texting, you know there’s nothing good there. Good choice :)
Is BBW any good? i.e. entertaining enough to make it worth watching?
If you don’t have an agenda that night and/or have many cats – yes.
Guess I better get some cats. For now maybe it can be elliptical watching… but I can always cross my fingers for some felines.
What a douche! Maybe you should have responded “only a pussy, which you’re never going to see.”
lol
This made my afternoon!
Uhmm… Whats BBW?!? I could look it up, but don’t really care. What i care more about, is that (another LOL) pet peeve of yours, with which I could not agree more by the way.
I think a a lot of women or people in general would react defensively to cliche assumptions or day-time-talk-show-topics. It drives me bananas, because those people obviously believe that they are so insightful and people-smart. I’ll throw in a Jerry Springer for free and scream: STFU, u dont know M-E!!!!
On the other hand, I would pay money, to see you act out those assumptions, for example, show up for a date with your neighbors kitties.
Where have all the cowboys gone?