spanking. and not the fun kind.

Being raised by parents who spanked us when we did wrong, I have no judgments toward or against that kind of thing. But today when reading Nerdgirl’s tweet about having to spank my favorite little blogland girl I got a little sad for her. Lovegirl, not her mama.

I only really remember being spanked once. And in hindsight I deserved it, but at the same time I think my parents had to have laughed at what transpired. It was funny.

I had a best friend growing up. Valerie was the child of Pastor Mom’s great friend and in our small cornfield town in Michigan we were free to roam the neighborhood, knowing someone was always looking out for us. Pastor Mom was the director of the local YWCA at the time and Valerie’s mom was a stay-at-home-mom, so she would often loon after us. Me, at least.

This particular day Valerie and I were walking down the small dirt road (less than an Atlanta block) between out two houses. It had just rained. Out neighbors on the corner had a shiny, bright new black car and it was safely parked by their house.

Valerie and I were about 6-7 years old at the time, and nearly 30 years later I couldn’t tell you the motivation behind my idea.

It had just rained. Dirt road.

“Let’s put mud on their car,” I said to Valerie.

“Nooo!” I remember her saying.

“Yeah. It will be fun,” I said, as I picked up my first handful from the dirt road and started spreading it on this shiny new car. I can picture this 80s car as I write.

Valerie joined me, but then she started feeling guilty and used the sleeve of her coat to try to wipe the mud off the car. I laughed and continued. She joined me.

Once the whole car was covered we walked back to my house on King Street. Before we got to the door the owner of the new black car appeared.

“Hey girls. Someone just put mud all over my new car. Do you know who did it?”

Quickly thinking, I put my gloved hands into my pockets and remove the gloves. I pulled out my clean hands. “No. Not me!” I said.

“Let me see your hands,” she said to Valerie, who had mud all over the new winter coat her grandmother had gotten her. And since she hadn’t been wearing those stretchy gloves like me she had dirty hands.

Valerie showed her dirty hands and the evidence was all over her new coat, since she’d tried to wipe off the damage.

“I know you girls did it” was the last thing I remember hearing. The only other thing I remember from that day was my mom – not yet a pastor – taking me into the bedroom and telling me she had to spank me for what I’d done. After all, the neighbors had to have their new car repainted because the gravel mud of the dirt road had scratched the shit out of it.

I don’t remember the actual spanking, but I remember holding out my clean hands clear as day. Valerie and I are still friends – we say we have been since we were 1 and a 1/2 – and to this day she always seems a little bitter when we reminisce on her ruining her new winter coat and my clean hands.

I never did anything like that again. Was it because I was spanked or because I felt so bad about throwing my friend under the bus? To this day I don’t know.

I do know that I could probably never spank anyone, but I also know I wasn’t traumatized by it and likely learned an important lesson when I was.

So I have no judgments on how anyone else handles things, but I do still feel bad for Lovegirl today. Because, based on what I’ve read of her so far, she’s damn near as sassy and strong-willed as I was as a child.

And I know I deserved that spanking and that it made me think twice forever more.

Sent from my iPhone

*I tried linking to Nerdgirl, but this janky wordpress isn’t letting me.  Here’s the address: http://nerdgirlms.wordpress.com/