talking is ok

I had no intention of discussing what I wrote yesterday with Mr. D, but after a little liquid courage over some fish tacos and wings it all just came out. Like open mouth, spill guts type.
I didn’t even want to see him like I usually do. I felt disconnected in a way, but had already [...]

further analysis may be necessary

I’ve worn him down with my analyses. He’s worn me down with his lack of initiative. And so it looks like Mr. D are coming to an end.
The main difference between his wearing down and mine is that he’s said it to me. I haven’t told him, and I don’t plan to. The distancing has [...]

the stars in her eyes

When I was a young girl I used to wish on the stars…for love to come. And by young girl I mean late teens/early 20s. It seems I’ve always been wishing for love, yes. So tonight as I stood on my balcony and looked up to see the stars I was reminded of this, and [...]

i think his name is Riesling

I poured a glass of wine and sat down to read some blogs to distract myself.  Truth is, I can’t help but think about what will happen when Mr. Delicious comes home, but I’m sooo not supposed to be thinking about that.  I’ve already made the pact with myself that I won’t contact him first [...]

anxiety and anorgasmia

What a combo!
Friday was a high anxiety day, and I couldn’t figure out why. That’s always the worst part for me. I know my 2 main triggers – guilt and money. And I was feeling pain related to neither of those, so why was I having trouble swallowing? Why did I feel so off? [...]

peaks and valleys

I’m not sure if I’m over-thinking things (as per uj, you know) or if maybe I was just reading into all that was happening with Mr. Delicious (aka BSE). I had a funny feeling about things Saturday and Sunday, and while I joke about being psychic, I think it’s my gut. So then the analysis [...]

he makes me think

Will is always the voice of reason/reality when it comes to men, so it shouldn’t have been any surprise to hear him say that I was fooling myself if I really believed what Lil Bear said about the not flirting with Allison. He told me to stay away, move on, don’t waste my time…although his [...]

dolla bills, yo

The to pay or not to pay debate has been going on since my date with Premature Kisser. Pretty much every girl I know has said that he should have paid, and that he shouldn’t have been so eager when I offered. I see this from all different sides. For one, times are tough so [...]

rememberies

As I drove past PF Changs I tried not to look, and tried even harder to not let it stir up memories. But it did. Inevitably. It was where I used to go with The Ruiner, and I don’t think I’ve been back since our last dinner there.
I hate that little things like this bring [...]

off the path

I saw one of the few co-workers I speak to kinda regularly while I was standing in the breakroom making my lunch yesterday. She asked about my weekend plans, so I spoke of the date…and then it turned into girl-fest when another girl in the room got into the conversation and we all analyzed the [...]

all good things…

…must come to an end. At least in my life. Especially when we’re talking about dating. And this time the outcome is kinda surprising even me.
So there are already 2 issues with this dude… 1) I feel smothered already…already!  And 2) he’s really annoyed me with his talking about how badly he wants me. I [...]

dating without purpose

A little over a month ago I went on first a date with a guy…you may remember his attempt at kissing me after our good date to which I said that I couldn’t kiss him because I’m a good girl. That still cracks me up, btw. So anyway, this guy (I can’t remember the name [...]

intuition

Ex-Husband and I talked at length about the lunch I’m supposed to have tomorrow with My HOT IT Guy. Truth is, I don’t actually believe it’s going to happen. I don’t know why – call it intuition, but I just don’t buy that it will actually take place. Maybe because of all the times I [...]

calma

The anxiety has been running high this weekend and I can’t figure out why. My life is pretty run-of-the-mill right now, so it doesn’t make sense to me. I’m not nervous about my lunch date tomorrow, especially after talking to Ex-Husband yesterday at length about it. I’m not lonely right now. I got some sleep [...]

daydreaming

I read an article about daydreaming in Psychology Today while sitting outside behind my office eating lunch yesterday afternoon. It was saying that daydreaming can be healthy, as it’s something we use to work through possible situations in our heads, but that as kids we’re often told to snap out of it or stop letting [...]

go away, loser

The drama was in full force, as I fueled the fire for the first time in this situation by responding to stupid little 21’s text. I still have to laugh thinking about him calling me a whore, but things yesterday got pretty nasty. I kinda expected it when I shot off my super bitch response [...]

done?

Today I ate my lunch at my desk, something I’ve been doing all week to avoid the $40 I’d been spending eating at Chipotle every single day, then spent my 1 hour lunch break sitting on the patio of my new TheBux. I love this one. The patio is nice, there’s a pretty steady group [...]

grinding Barista

Or rather grounding Barista…I just thought grinding sounded funny…and I could use a little grinding right now. This was apparent as I passed my favorite full-length mirror in the bathroom in my office this morning and noticed how hot I looked in my short black skirt, bright pink shirt and black heels.  It was purely [...]

coffee and cake

His hand was touching mine on the table as I looked past my french press and into his eyes. There was a sad smile on his face like he didn’t know whether to be overjoyed about sitting across from me after he’d pretty much fucked everything up, or sad that he was unsure about what [...]