party hats and hoooolihoops

After writing everything I did early yesterday morning about the situation with Jen, and then the way the rest of my day went, I realize now that part of the thing I must’ve needed in the situation was to release all of that built up hurt in writing. I needed to finally release those tears [...]

the re-stab

I never sign in to myspace. Never. I have no reason to. I don’t use it, I have no reason to. But this morning I happened to randomly click on the link, and regretted it shortly after. I saw that I had a new alert and fully expected to see a friend request from some [...]

finito

The 21 chapter has finally come to a close, and I couldn’t be more relieved. I’d barely spoken to him this week, but the last time we’d talked was when he’d asked me to hang out and I told him I was having dinner with Cutie McBarista that night we were planning to hook up [...]

the saboteur

The plans for the week haven’t gone as…ummm…planned, I’d say, and the reasons are different for each situation. On the agenda was a) breaking up with the gay not-boyfriend…in person, with a discussion and for the final time; b) sex with my friend Cutie McBarista after a few drinks to be used to loosen me [...]

when it rains…

You know how the rest goes…  And it’s true. Things have been dry for months and months, gay not-boyfriend doesn’t count, and now suddenly out of nowhere the boys can’t get enough of this. “This” being me, of course.
 
After date 2 last night with the man who will now need a name it’s quite clear [...]

the perfect set-up

After much discussion, and laughter, with Jen last night I’ve figured out that this situation with 21 is pretty much perfect. His gayness doesn’t bother me in the slightest, and I don’t plan to help him figure it out any time soon. Instead, I’m going to enjoy my perfect little set-up…dinners out with a good [...]

my gay not-boyfriend

I have had my suspicions about 21 for quite some time…well not about 21, but about his sexuality. I’d find the comments he’d make to other guys, or about other guys, to be rather…well, ummm…gay. In making comments to him about it he’d laugh and tell me the same thing that I believe – that [...]

9-1-1

The anxiety has lessened since getting the car fixed, and thank something lovely for my little sis for helping out on this one, so I didn’t understand why I started having trouble breathing and swallowing as I was driving to Bart’s house yesterday afternoon. I tried to breathe through it, tried convincing myself that it [...]

and I’m broken…

I took the train in today so that I could get some de-stress time in with Jen after a horrible Monday night. As I sat there in my seat minding my own business I felt all kinds of eyes on me…the old man to the left who kept looking at me and smiling to himself, [...]

rolling

I lied there in his big black arms, smelling his clean all around me and enjoying it. It was a low-key kinda night and it felt good just lying there with him. I liked the softness of his skin, and really I just like being adored for the most part. My bad. Well I like [...]