really?!

My sleep was interrupted from 330 – 6 this morning by two things – constant barking/whining from the pup and loud conversation outside my window.  I didn’t give in and yell to Matty to stfu, instead I just lied there until I fell back asleep.  And I cursed the loud people outside my apartment in [...]

random stuff

There’s a lot to do before I move, and I’m so grateful for the friends who have offered to help, which will save me a ton of money. It really makes me feel warm inside knowing people are willing to give up a few hours of their weekend to do what I consider to be [...]

dating without purpose

A little over a month ago I went on first a date with a guy…you may remember his attempt at kissing me after our good date to which I said that I couldn’t kiss him because I’m a good girl. That still cracks me up, btw. So anyway, this guy (I can’t remember the name [...]

psychic or…

…just finally recognizing game?  I was so thrilled today to see why I was having a weird feeling about the MHITG situation…HE’S MARRIED. Yeah. So, knock that one off my list. I was so disgusted when I got his email, but glad he’d honestly answered my question. And I let the emailing drop then. I [...]

shut yer frickin yapper

I’m unfortunate enough to sit next to the customer service department, as I’ve mentioned before. The department has to be like 30 people or so and I can’t hear any of them, except for the loud ass New Yorker who sits 2 whole cube rows away from me. And this bitch is LOUD!  But the [...]

why is this happening to me

Ok, so I used to be a daily pot smoker. For like the past 4 years with only short breaks here and there. And by “used to be” I mean up until about 3 weeks ago when I had my first panic attack. I attributed the attack to the smoking, since I’d been high at [...]

finito

The 21 chapter has finally come to a close, and I couldn’t be more relieved. I’d barely spoken to him this week, but the last time we’d talked was when he’d asked me to hang out and I told him I was having dinner with Cutie McBarista that night we were planning to hook up [...]

the saboteur

The plans for the week haven’t gone as…ummm…planned, I’d say, and the reasons are different for each situation. On the agenda was a) breaking up with the gay not-boyfriend…in person, with a discussion and for the final time; b) sex with my friend Cutie McBarista after a few drinks to be used to loosen me [...]

he kissed me

I spent the entire day Monday talking to Jason via text, then IM, which resulted in an invitation to come visit his house last night. We’d already set a date for Tuesday night – he planned to cook me dinner after bragging about how he was practically a chef. I was a little iffy about [...]

my gay not-boyfriend

I have had my suspicions about 21 for quite some time…well not about 21, but about his sexuality. I’d find the comments he’d make to other guys, or about other guys, to be rather…well, ummm…gay. In making comments to him about it he’d laugh and tell me the same thing that I believe – that [...]

healing the broken heart

This morning I wanted to post about My Ruiner. I have been reluctant to acknowledge his recent reappearances in my life, but the truth is it’s driving me crazy. I hate the fact that I’ve been able to successfully not think about him for a good 3 months and then he just starts showing up. [...]

rolling

I lied there in his big black arms, smelling his clean all around me and enjoying it. It was a low-key kinda night and it felt good just lying there with him. I liked the softness of his skin, and really I just like being adored for the most part. My bad. Well I like [...]

please don’t stop me from doing something stupid

I’ve been tempted all day to text The Ruiner just to say “why?”. Only it wouldn’t be just to say “why?” it would be more like please, please, please say we can get together to talk about why you really need to leave me alone while I get my fix looking into those big [...]

what could you possibly want from me now

Three months ago I made the decision that The Ruiner could no longer be a part of my life. We’d broken up in January of 2007, and it kicked off what I now see as a series of the worst decisions I’ve made in my adult life. I was crushed, shattered even, and until September [...]

the little children

The sound of his voice changed completely the minute she walked out the door. He didn’t even wait to hear the garage door close before dropping the whine that was grating on my every last nerve from the second I came upstairs from my basement apartment for another day of kid watching. I refuse to [...]