down the lanes

I spent the day today with Bart. I needed to do some laundry, and I think he was feeling guilty about cancelling on me yesterday so when I talked to him this morning as I was doing the patio thing again and he asked me to come over to do my laundry then go to [...]

go away, loser

The drama was in full force, as I fueled the fire for the first time in this situation by responding to stupid little 21’s text. I still have to laugh thinking about him calling me a whore, but things yesterday got pretty nasty. I kinda expected it when I shot off my super bitch response [...]

could i laugh any harder?

Last night I was lying in my bed trying to fall asleep and fully suspecting that the girl at High School Musical Starbucks gave me fully caffeinated instead of half-caf as I requested. I haven’t had a fully caffeinated 6 shot doubleshot in a couple months, and with the amount of sleep I’ve gotten this [...]

laughing out loud

“You uncrossed your fingers,” I told Serena late Monday afternoon. My company had a 2 hour all-employee meeting yesterday morning, and so for the first time since last Wednesday I saw My Hot IT Guy.  He didn’t look as hot as I remembered, but probably just because I’m annoyed by this apparent little game and [...]

dating sucks

Every so often (daily) I get to this point where I decide that I’m going to give up on dating. I’m so over the waste of time in getting to know someone, the hopefulness that comes with each and every date I go on when I think that maybe – just maybe! – this will [...]

party hats and hoooolihoops

After writing everything I did early yesterday morning about the situation with Jen, and then the way the rest of my day went, I realize now that part of the thing I must’ve needed in the situation was to release all of that built up hurt in writing. I needed to finally release those tears [...]

the re-stab

I never sign in to myspace. Never. I have no reason to. I don’t use it, I have no reason to. But this morning I happened to randomly click on the link, and regretted it shortly after. I saw that I had a new alert and fully expected to see a friend request from some [...]

twilight zone

Is this for-fucking-real?  I feel like my life is an episode of punk’d.  And not one of those episodes where you laugh your ass off and think Ashton is brilliant, but rather one where you sit back and watch the train wreck, but compose that letter beginning Dear Mr. Kutcher, in your head begging him [...]

numb

I drank a big glass of wine from one of the wine glasses Will gave me for my birthday before talking to Cutie McBarista, and another while talking to him. I smoked 2 cigarettes during our phone conversation. And after telling him why I was so upset, and getting the opposite reaction from the one [...]

and my heart has been broken again

This time, however, it wasn’t by a boy.  I wish it had been a boy as I sit here trying to compose my thoughts and figure out how I feel.  I’ve gone through a huge range of emotions in the past 3 hours since hearing it, and now this glass of wine just may help [...]

you just let a high guy throw away your memory box

Bart invited me over today with the main purpose of helping him with his taxes. I’ve always loved taxes – not paying them, but everything else to do with them. Mostly this is because there is always something new and always something to analyze or interpret. And they’re quite an easy thing for me, seem [...]

finito

The 21 chapter has finally come to a close, and I couldn’t be more relieved. I’d barely spoken to him this week, but the last time we’d talked was when he’d asked me to hang out and I told him I was having dinner with Cutie McBarista that night we were planning to hook up [...]

what in the world

After The Ruiner and I first broke up 2 years ago I met a great guy, Vince.  We hit it off immediately, and started dating pretty much immediately. This was about one week after The Ruiner broke my heart, and while I never thought of Vince as a rebound he totally was. He was sweet, [...]

the saboteur

The plans for the week haven’t gone as…ummm…planned, I’d say, and the reasons are different for each situation. On the agenda was a) breaking up with the gay not-boyfriend…in person, with a discussion and for the final time; b) sex with my friend Cutie McBarista after a few drinks to be used to loosen me [...]

when it rains…

You know how the rest goes…  And it’s true. Things have been dry for months and months, gay not-boyfriend doesn’t count, and now suddenly out of nowhere the boys can’t get enough of this. “This” being me, of course.
 
After date 2 last night with the man who will now need a name it’s quite clear [...]

sowing oats or something

Girls night started didn’t quite end up as it was supposed to last night. First, everyone was bailing.  Then we decided that instead of actually going out-out we’d just go to the neighborhood bar we frequent because of the ease and proximity to our location at that moment. I was slightly happy about this because [...]

the perfect set-up

After much discussion, and laughter, with Jen last night I’ve figured out that this situation with 21 is pretty much perfect. His gayness doesn’t bother me in the slightest, and I don’t plan to help him figure it out any time soon. Instead, I’m going to enjoy my perfect little set-up…dinners out with a good [...]

my gay not-boyfriend

I have had my suspicions about 21 for quite some time…well not about 21, but about his sexuality. I’d find the comments he’d make to other guys, or about other guys, to be rather…well, ummm…gay. In making comments to him about it he’d laugh and tell me the same thing that I believe – that [...]

healing the broken heart

This morning I wanted to post about My Ruiner. I have been reluctant to acknowledge his recent reappearances in my life, but the truth is it’s driving me crazy. I hate the fact that I’ve been able to successfully not think about him for a good 3 months and then he just starts showing up. [...]

rolling

I lied there in his big black arms, smelling his clean all around me and enjoying it. It was a low-key kinda night and it felt good just lying there with him. I liked the softness of his skin, and really I just like being adored for the most part. My bad. Well I like [...]