payday

I miss the days when I had enough money in my accounts to never have to remember it was payday. I used to be that person I now hate – you know, the one who says “Oh it’s payday? I didn’t realize it.” Yeah. Now – that’s soo not me. [...]

throughout the day

it’s so great to come outside in the morning to walk the pup and see that it’s light out. It’s even nicer when it’s 830 at night and still light out. I can’t wait for summer! To be tan again…even though I won’t be able to go to the pool anytime I want like last [...]

dolla bills, yo

The to pay or not to pay debate has been going on since my date with Premature Kisser. Pretty much every girl I know has said that he should have paid, and that he shouldn’t have been so eager when I offered. I see this from all different sides. For one, times are tough so [...]

bang bang

My day started with exactly that…a bang…when I went to my car to head out to work and the bitch wouldn’t start. I ended up having to get it towed, and now – $400 later – it’s all fixed. They told me at the repair shop that it was the cables that connect the battery [...]

little by little

As I start to slowly become a fixture in the office I have been meeting some new people. It’s surprising to me that given all the women that work in this company that it’s the men who want to stop to chat. I guess the reasons are obvious, but with the exception of very few [...]

show me the money

Over the weekend I found myself getting annoyed at the dumbest things.  Ok, so they aren’t completely dumb things, but I’m a can’t-change-it-don’t-stress-it type, so it annoyed me that I was getting so worked up over seemingly small shit. For one, the noise upstairs. It seemed like they were on a mission to make as [...]

lil victories

Last weekend while I was getting ridiculously drunk at Will’s house his boyfriend said that he’d eaten by himself for the first time. I was pretty proud of myself for doing the solo movie thing for the first time, but aside from the one time I’d studied through lunch by myself I’d never eaten alone. [...]

i hate my life

Or so it seems, anyway.
Tonight it became completely clear to me that what I need is a job. Before it was 99.9% about the money; now it is more about the stability, structure and something worthwhile to fill my empty space/time. Yeah, I still need the money, but after this weekend, and then today, it [...]

why is this happening to me

Ok, so I used to be a daily pot smoker. For like the past 4 years with only short breaks here and there. And by “used to be” I mean up until about 3 weeks ago when I had my first panic attack. I attributed the attack to the smoking, since I’d been high at [...]

9-1-1

The anxiety has lessened since getting the car fixed, and thank something lovely for my little sis for helping out on this one, so I didn’t understand why I started having trouble breathing and swallowing as I was driving to Bart’s house yesterday afternoon. I tried to breathe through it, tried convincing myself that it [...]

and I’m broken…

I took the train in today so that I could get some de-stress time in with Jen after a horrible Monday night. As I sat there in my seat minding my own business I felt all kinds of eyes on me…the old man to the left who kept looking at me and smiling to himself, [...]