the peeps

Will - the best gay friend. At one point I had a huge crush on him. At another point we lived together like Will & Grace and smoked weed every single day. Now he’s about to be married and we live on opposite ends of the earth.

Pastor Mom – my mommy and a conservative Pastor all wrapped up in one mommy-like package.

Cuddles and Moxie – not real name and real name, respectively. Trust me, his real name is wayy worse than Cuddles. Like stupidest dog name ever. But I love him. Oh yeah, these be the pups. Cuddles is 3 (xmas gift in 2006 from Tranny Chris) and Moxers is around 4 months. She’s his child bride.

Ex-Husband - I think this should be obvious, but yeah – my Ex-Husband and one of the most blunt, black and white, no-nonsense people I’ve ever met. He’s also super honest and there for me any time I need him…as long as I don’t want money.

The Heartbreaker AKA The Ruiner AKA Tranny Chris – The ex-boyfriend who broke my heart and sent me into a downward spiral till I hit the ground and bounced back up. Just recently discovered that he downloaded tranny porn on my computer while we were dating 2 years ago, hence the newest nickname.

Mr. Delicious – my “friend” who became a friend with benefits who i really wanted to have a relationship with who strung me along, ate my food, slept in my bed and then turned into a dick when I asked what was up. Also known as Best Sex Ever…for obvious reasons. UPDATE 03/01/2010 – we’re the best of friends again and we’re having the best sex ever again. I’m no longer trying to have a relationship with him, I’m just enjoying the friendship. He’s also known as my VP of Marketing for PCD because he gets me a bunch of cupcake orders. Team D!

Allison - co-worker and friend who likes to make me drink a lot. Just kidding, Al.

Old Uncle Marv – the co-worker who drives me batty and provides some accidental comedy all at the same time.

Customer Service Bitch AKA Beast – The most annoying woman in the world. She never shuts up and her voice irks the fuck outta me. There will be a soundbite in the near future.

The Canadian – My little sister, who is very much American.

The African Accountant or The AA – Seal – my soon-to-be boyfriend if I have anything to say about it. We met at work in August 2009 and I immediately had a crush on him. We’ve been dating since September and now I’m madly in love, but he doesn’t know that yet….or at least I haven’t said it yet. THE JACKASS.